Open relationships.

So I was in Prague recently. The capital of the Czech republic is appropriately called ‘The gay porn capital of the world’. And boy, did I have a good time. I mean good ol’ Belami and the world’s most beautiful blue eyed blonde haired boys are there, right?!

And so I went to a few of the gay hotspots (Valentino, Babylon, Termix and the awesome Labrynth!) and after some initial eyebrows raised at my age (I was seriously annoyed when the entryman at Babylon asked me if I was sure I was 18 – “I’m 24 for God’s sake!” I had scowled! On secnd thought, i shouldn't have opened my big mouth - there were discounts for guys below 23) And I’m always happier with my clothes off, but anyways, I’m gonna spare you the ‘not-so-boring’ details coz this post isn’t about that. I was coming across too many guys in OPEN relationships (gay men’s terms for a ‘committed relationship’ in which both partners are allowed to fuck around as long as there is no emotional attachment), and I thought I was fine with the idea – as long as it was being implemented by someone else. So there I was in this threesome – great time, lots of action, good co-ordination and receiving pleasure that only one man can offer another (am sorry for using this line AJ). And after a mind blowing time, I was relaxing in the arms of 2 Czech men who could barely speak a word of English (I think one was a slovak – never use Czechoslovakia in Prague after the separation– they’ll murder you), when it suddenly struck me that this three way had been very well, err, synchronized – much more than usual, and believe me, I know my way around threeways.

So I suddenly asked the 2 men. “Are you guys together?”

After much frantic signalling, they understood, and they replied in the affirmative – yes, they were together. Dear God, I had just done a couple!

Okay. It kind of turned me on. But then I discussed it with AJ back in India, and he put my hypocritical ass right where it belonged – in the gutter.

“You said you valued commitment!” he screamed at me over international calls. “I remember you would never do married guys! Then what’s all this nonsense?”

“But that’s different I wailed!” although I knew I was way into the redzone in this argument. “What I don’t like is lying and pretending. Both these guys are together and they’re fine with it. They’re not lying and cheating on one another. They are in an OPEN relationship.”

“Fine answer me this Saumi,” he retorted back. “How would you like it when you finally settle with someone? would you like to settle for an open relationship?”

I paused. For a long time. “No.” I gulped back as my stomach turned inside. “No.”

“Hmm.” was all AJ replied. Did I tell you how much I hate it when AJ ends the argument with Hmm? It means I’ve lost.

So anyways. So one day in Prague, I got some time away from my senseless anonymous fucking (actually, not all that senseless :D) and decided to ACTUALLY visit the city. And bumped into this couple – a German guy and an American guy – from Stuttgart, Germany. And they told me about having visited Labrynth.

“But aren’t you guys together?” I asked dripping of naivete.

“Ah, but we allow each other the pleasure of other men!” they replied.

“Does it work for you guys?” I questioned, purposely probing deeper into their personal lives.

“I guess it does.” They replied.

And no. I did not fuck the both of them. We simply parted ways after touring the city together for some time.

Hmm. So moral of the story – no moral. Or at least one subjective moral – let each one have his own point of view. However modern I might pretend to be, I do not have the stomach for an OPEN relationship for myself, but I guess I have no right to condemn others who have one either.

You want me to cum in your ass?

Play Safe. We’ve always heard that. And we know we should. And we’ve learned of the horrors of gonorrheae, syphilis, clamydia and god forbid the HIV virus. And then there’s crabs (I’ve had the darned things twice – from the same guy I realized later). But then again I see men not playing safe all the time. And keeping in line with my true hypocriticial self, I’m going to admit I have not played it safe 2 times in my life. Okay, so in percentage terms, that figure is a tiny fraction of my sexual experiences, but that tiny fraction is enough to kill me right?

So what is this fascination with barebacking? Indian context (especially good ol’ Jaipur context) – many guys don’t have the BALLS to buy condoms. And then lube is a totally different story… though we’ll cover that in another blog. But I’m not going to go into the whole ‘the guy who can’t dare to buy a condom because he’s shy’ thing. What I am going to go into is this whole ‘raw pleasure’ thing.

Now when it comes to gay porn, I have TONNES of it. I mean literally. I’m about to alphabetize and sort it into country-wise folders now… yeah, that much! So anyways, anyone who knows a bit of the gay porn industry will know the big player’s like Falcon, TitanMedia, Etc. and then there are the even more sinful videos with barebacking – I mean, cumming on your face, creamy facials, slurping, snowballing, shooting inside the ass and … does that turn you on? Even if it does at some subliminal level, therein lies the problem. It turns me on.

And it’s scary. I’ve always been able to distinguish between reality and fantasy but obviously the actors in Treasure Island Media and many Eurocreme videos have not. Of course it’s irresponsible but wherever there is some market and some scope of making money, some man (read some gay man here) will exploit it to make money. So it comes down to individual choice and one’s own resistance then. As in the resistance of the gay man when it comes down to some sexual activitiy? – boy, we’re doomed.

And since monogamy is almost entirely non-existent amongst us fags, we have a big problem.

Play safe darlings. It’s too damn important. Reserve those barebacking sessions for after you’re sure you’re with the one – yup, just like some determined 26 year old Indian lady preserving her virginity till after marriage. But till then, play safe.

On a different note, I once messed with this guy who out condoms on to give a blowjob. Okay – now technically he’s being playing by the rules, but err, I wasn’t too keen on sucking on plastic. Anyways, lemme end this with a bit of irrelevant gossip about the same guy.

After much ado about how we were going to do the horizontal mamba (who was going to be the fucker and who the fuckee – Okay, top and bottom), I finally allowed him and in less than 30 seconds he was done.

“You enjoyed it?” I asked him in an unequivocal voice.

“Yes!” He replied between pants, having just orgasmed.

I reiterated without missing a beat. “Well thank God one of us enjoyed it.”



And as for the guys who are too shy to buy condoms - guys - get some BALLS man! If you don't want the brown paper deal at the chemist's, go to a bigger retail complex and pick one of the shelf and bury it below layers of household supplies. I've done that dozens of times!

Married Gay Men.

Oh yes. We’ve all heard a lot about them. Every second article in the international press about homosexuality in India, even ones talking about the repeal-ment of 377 talk about millions of gay men being trapped in marriages in India. And believe it or not, I am dead against sleeping with married men too. And just for that I had limited the age barrier for my tricks to be at most 26. Ok, ok, 28 if the guy appeared well-spoken and produced a good pic (which would turn out to be a picture taken 10 years ago in most cases). I also would not fuck anyone younger than me – I was mostly scared I would end up with a 16-17 year old and then I would REALLY by doing something wrong.

So there’s this time I was meeting this guy in a hotel room for a sleazy encounter – in good ol’ Jaipur. And I had spoken to him a couple of times over the phone - which is twice as much as I had spoken to most guys over the phone before I met them – and then I met him at McDonald’s near Raj Mandir. And even though he looked much older (and a lot, ahem, different) from the photo he had passed on to me over the internet, I had this severe case of blue balls and followed him. He said he was 28 – that was probably true.

So then I went to his room and things started getting a little hot and steamy and we started making out and my shirt slipped off and he started sucking my nipples (God, I love that!) and I threw my head back and sighed. And then a thought intruded my ecstasy. “Dude, are you married?” I suddenly asked.

He paused the flicking off his tongue (and I missed it immediately) and responded immediately. “Of course not!”

A smile replaced my worry and I tilted my head back again as his talented tongue went back to what it did best. “I am engaged though.”

I gulped. And then I slinked away, much to his surprise. I scooted over and quickly stared getting back into my clothes. “I’m sorry!” I said, “I can’t do this!”

He looked annoyed. “You’re leaving coz I’m engaged?” he asked angrily. And when I didn’t reply he asked in a softer tone. “I shouldn’t have revealed that right? Then we would be fucking in ignorance right now.”

I left, slamming the door. Back near Raj Mandir I hastily caught an auto and headed back. And then I felt a little bad about my sudden exit. I texted him – “SORRY 4 LEAVING LIKE THAT. HOPE U UNDERSTAND”

He texted back – “I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. SO YOU’LL COME BACK FOR SEX?”

Boy, was I peeved!

So my straight friends, who have an ancanny interest in hearing all about my tricks found out later and I later had an argument with a friend of mine who actually supported my soon-to-be-married trick.

“It’s not his fault Saumi!” my friend wailed, “You were his only outlet.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to do things for him!” I shouted back. “If he wants an outlet so badly he can go buy one!”

So what is with Indian gay guys and marriages? I knew tonnes of people in Jaipur in their 30’s and 40’s and even older, who would sneak out to fuck around with a guy. I know – we’re in a background where the majority of the population still doesn’t even UNDERSTAND the word gay, but still – lying and living a double life like that? Hmmm. Maybe I don’t understand the situation well enough, but lying and deceiving and infidelity like that – not my cup of tea. (I know this statement is gonna bite me in the ass later – remember the whole hypocrisy thing?)

Kinda brings me back to the discussion I had with my parents (or lack thereof) When I came out (or rather was found out in a rather embarrassing situation), I made one thing clear – that whatever happened, I was not getting married and ruining some poor girl’s life – and this too when I was 16 – boy, was I wise when I was younger!

Anyways – saw a bunch of movies on the same topic (though not with an Indian context) – always end in tragedy. You can check out Segunda Piel (spanish), Le Fate Ignoranti (spanish as well) few others I can't recall...

As for my own blue-ball crises at that time, I guess I solved it the next day with some unmarried non-committed guy the next day – or maybe with my own right hand.

Jaipur - Pink City Indeed.

I’ve lived in Jaipur for a few years. Enough time to get to know the local gay crowd in a rather intimate manner. And it had been a terrible experience – and a wonderful one at the same time. I mean, I did fuck around a lot, and got to understand the eccentricities of the gay scene there – and that’s what I wanted to share.

Jaipur is gay! I mean – I’m saying it. If you know the right places to find people, the right parks to hang around, even cruising spots and theatre halls, Jaipur has it all – it’s gay as hell. I mean it’s called the Pink city right? So there’s this website called guys4men. It’s been rechristened gayromeo or something, but I’ve not used that account for more than a couple of years now. Anyways. So you sign up for free and viola – instant gay hook-ups. But wait – not without the speed-bumps; the hiccups.

So you log on and people either have a fake pic, or have their dick/undie pics or a pic taken in such a vague manner that all you can use it for is to make out that it’s the profile of a human. And once you start chatting – you’ll get used to the proverbial “Hey Dear, do you have a place?” That’s the first thing guys will ping you with. I mean, who the hell says ‘Hey Dear’ in India? And that too in real conversation? And I used to really dislike the whole ‘Do you have a place?’ come on. I mean, I know I’m on a site for hook-ups, (though it says it’s for personals and finding true love as well – Ha! Good luck with that!), and I know that while women need a reason and a proper person to have sex with, men just need a place, but still…

My good friend AJ (I’m gonna use only his initials otherwise his mom would spank his 25 year old ass if she finds out what he’s been doing), used to cringe at my behaviour.
“Why the hell do you need them to speak good English?” he would ask. “All you wanna do is fuck! So why the hell do you want some suede sophisticated dudes?”

“It gives me a sense of security!” I would wail, though I knew my hypocritical ass had been handed over to me on a platter.

But anyways, Jaipur was one helluva place. Kinda good and kinda bad as well. With the high influx of foreign tourists, there would constantly be Jaipurites clamouring to get some Firang action. And since the local fag population (or should I say online fag population – yes, I’ve reached a point where I am comfortable with calling myself a fag!) wasn’t that high, Everyone had slept with nearly everyone – I mean you;ve heard of 6 degrees of separation? Ha! that cnebarely define it. Jaipur gay scene is more like 2 degrees of PENETRATION. And what’s even better (or worse) is that everyone knows who’s slept with who. Talk about efficient grapevines! And everyone used fake ID’s and names. And EVERYONE is deep in their closets. I mean REAL deep. This whole sex / gay thing is kind of a dark secret they would never let out. (can you sense some hypocrisy again?) I mean between me and AJ, we had a listing that covered who was there on the scene and who wanted to join in, who had taken it up the bum from who, who was how big (I’m not talking age here), and who ives the best blowjobs, and who was using a false name even though he knew that others knew that he knew that…. You get the picture. It was awful. But you’d still find me prowling around for a new fuck every other week.

But then that was also the place I met AJ. And we’ve shared an amazing friendship since. And despite what one might think, there’s been no transfer of bodily fluids between us. I mean if there are 2 fags and they’ve known each other a long time, they must have fucked right? Nope.

So anyways, that was just a background to the pink city – and where I’ve spent countless nights waking up in strange beds. But more on that and more graphic details for another post.